I've never felt so nervous during attending any coursework except for this..I blamed myself for trying to learn sumthing which is beyond my expectation..seriously I've been thinking back on the first lecture this morning..such a nightmare..goshhh..shutsss..i'm so nervous...
However, I am really impressed and totally love the speakers from Julius Centre, Netherland..they are really superb professor..they taught and gave such a brilliant description about the prognostic research as I have no idea what it is all about..unfortunately its not a basic knowledge of epidemiology and biostatistic that they are looking at..but it is more to the DOCTOR's experience handling patients in their primary routine care..Of course as Research Officer, I'm only the follower of this people so called a DOCTOR..what more can i say..this workshop is beyond my capable to explain the situation..the diseases..the drugs..the treatments..the time frames for patients to survive and die..bravo to all the doctors in malaysia who has determination to sacrifice and make me understand why the DOCTOR is willing to do the research which may take 10 years to end..do you know that all this research is for our community even it may take longer to get the result, at the end there is a lot of thing we can find and discover..in other word helping the community to achieve a high standard of living and give them the best health care would be the best achievement for me and the doctor.. this is ME..this is my job..to improve patient's outcome..
Back to the speaker..the first one Prof Yolanda van der Graaf..quite interesting about her topic..introduction to prognostic research..how to design the research..giving a few examples which helps me to understanding better..so rating for her OK la bout the presentation..not so many things I have learn..hehehe
Come to this second person who makes my heart beats so fast and fast..Prof Karel GM Moons..
he is so good looking..nice guy..the most important very energetic..using such a beautiful word to describe sumthing..i likes him for saying"My lady at the back..may i have your answer please to this question?" and if u could answer that , he will said "Thank you..brilliant and beautiful answer"... Every problem will be given a clear, simple and understanding solution..one thing i dun like bout him..if u asked a question, he will asked u back..mmmm..tht's the way he tried to catch ur attention..
BUT..his topic is more to statistic things which is I dun really like the course..i dun like the numbers..to predict how many peoples will die in 5 years in come by calculating the propability with the complicated formula and method..arghhhhh most of the time i will surrender and pretend like i know the answer but the fact is none of them i can find the way..it so frustrated and down feeling in your heart when u know u can't answer the question..u hated urself for being such a stupid person in the lecture room..
I'm having another 2 days course work with them..of course 2 days with Prof Moons..he will talk about linear regression and the principles of biostatistics in short and long term..he warned us today to be prepare on tomorrow's topic which a nighmare for me...dushhhh...heart attack..
I'm having an interview with SPA tomorrow..hopefully I can do the best..I want to concentrate on my life for now..no more "main-main"..serious..but I think i'm already serious in my job especially working with the skema peoples in Hospital KL..hahaha..
Nite
xoxo
sephiiroth
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